See Full Testimony Here
"Dear children! Today I call you to prepare yourselves for the coming of Jesus. In a special way, prepare your hearts. May holy Confession be the first act of conversion for you and then, dear children, decide for holiness. May your conversion and decision for holiness begin today and not tomorrow. Little children, I call you all to the way of salvation and I desire to show you the way to Heaven. That is why, little children, be mine and decide with me for holiness. Little children, accept prayer with seriousness and pray, pray, pray. Thank you for having responded to my call." Our Lady's Medjugorje Message, November 25, 1998
I left that morning for work a little early, Rosary in hand, walking the neighborhood paths through the dark for the sun had not yet began to rise, reciting the Rosary and at the same time having this long awaited conversation with Jesus and Our Blessed mother telling them how sorry I was.. asking them to take care of me, of us, my family, my wife, my children.. asking Jesus over and over to have mercy on me and to forgive me for all the horrible things I've done..
About half way to work as I walked along a busy main road I distinctly heard the words of a gentle woman within my heart, not sure how to describe it... I don't think it was an actual inner locution, more like a direct thought within my own thoughts that didn't seem to be fabricated on my own accord if that makes any sense.. but I distinctly heard, "When you go home tonight, be rid of that book you have been reading and begin reading God's Word.." Well, the book being referred to here is the writings of Nostradamus, a 16th century wizard, hailed by many New Agers as a prophet.. The real concern with this however, is that his prophesies, if you can even call them that, do not come from God at all for it clearly says in Scripture to stay far away from sorcery.. Nostradamus was a Sorcerer.. So I did just that.. I went straight home after work, walked into the living room, picked up the new Nostradamus book I just paid about $70.00 Canadian for and tossed it into the garbage! Despite how much my wife resented me reading that stuff, puzzled she said, "Whatcha do that for?!" Attempting to explain, I replied, "Our Lady told me to.. " My wife rolled her eyes.. Shaking my head as I left the room added, "You wouldn't understand..." And hence forth I never went back to it..
I knew what I had to do to make things right with God.. To atone for the selfish life I had been living up until now.. Though I had not practiced my Catholic Faith in many years, suddenly I had all this knowledge coming back to me.. And I was being given a great sense of wisdom concerning the path ahead.. Almost like an emergency Catechism course over night, not taught by a priest, nor a biblical scholar or theologian, or academic layperson, but by Our Blessed Mother Herself through spontaneous prayer and unconditional surrender.. "Here I am Mother.. Please lead me.." A great and powerful wisdom that could have only come from above began to flow through my heart and I knew without a doubt and within an instant what I needed to do! I had to go to confession and I was not to put it off another minute..
I phoned my friend Chris and asked him if he knew a priest I could speak with.. He told me about Fr. Beaune, a retired Basilian priest (Order of St. Basil) living in residence at Our Lady of the Assumption Parish.. "That's odd..", I thought.. I've been to Assumption Church once before many years ago... 1991 as a matter of fact.. I was there simply by chance, or at least so I thought, the same day that this young man named Ivan from Medjugorje came to talk and received an Apparition from Our Lady just before the evening Mass.. I picked up the phone and gave Fr. Beaune a call.. This poor priest! He says, "Hello?" And I started right in! "Father, I need to talk with a priest! I need to go to confession! I need to come back to the Church! Oh my gosh Father!" On and on and on... lol.. He listened to me for the next 15 minutes as I told him my whole conversion story that had transpired the past 24 hours, and after finishing finally says, "Well John, it sounds like the Holy Spirit has lit a fire under your chair." lol..
Fr. Beaune made an appointment with me, and also invited my family and I to come to Mass this coming Sunday
and he would gladly help us make as a family make a Consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary... He also told me about Adoration.. something I had never heard of that I could ever recall.. He told me how the Rosary Chapel located next door to the Parish is always open throughout each day and I could go in there at any time and just sit and talk to Jesus.. I liked how that sounded.. "Just what I need!" I thought..
So soon, perhaps the next day I went and sought out this little Chapel.. There was a lady sitting in the first pew close to the Blessed Sacrament.. I knelt down in a pew near the back.. not sure what I'm supposed to be doing, I pulled out my Rosary and began to pray.. "Wow! What sudden and abrupt changes in me the past day!" I thought.. Not even 48 hours earlier you would have never have got me to go to Church just on my own to spend time with Jesus... I looked ahead towards the woman sitting in the front pew with her back to me.. and I had this sudden thought, "She will say many prayers for you in the years ahead.." And chuckling to myself I thought, "That's kind of odd.. I don't even know her."
I wasn't in the Chapel very long, not even having completed the Rosary and it was as if the Holy Spirit suddenly interrupted me tapping me on the shoulder to say, "Are you forgetting something?"
"Oh yeah!" I suddenly remembered I need to go to confession.. So I finished the Rosary, made the sign of the Cross, knelt down before the Blessed Sacrament as I had seen the woman that had been sitting in the front do as she had left earlier, and then headed out of the Chapel to somehow go and find a priest.. I just couldn't wait until my meeting with this Fr. Beaune I was to have in a few days.. I needed to go now!
I rang the doorbell to the rectory of Assumption Church.. I waited.... I rang it again.. I waited..... finally, the door opened and the secretary answered, "May I help you?" I explained that I was looking for a priest to go to confession with.. She said there were no priest's available at the moment.. I asked, "Is there another place around here I could check?" She pointed me across the University lawn to the Assumption College building to which I thanked her and proceeded to go to.. But once inside the seemingly desolate facility, I soon found another dead end... The secretary there also explained that there were no priest's around and that my best bet was to call the rectory and make an appointment or wait until Saturday to go to the regular scheduled confessions at 5pm.. Well, I wasn't waiting! Like a little kid prancing in the backseat of the car, "I had to go! And I had to go NOW!"
I got about 20 steps outside the doors of Assumption college and stopped dead in my tracks... Now, I'm generally not a person with a lot of backbone.. I'm the kind of person that can be seated at a restaurant, the food tastes horrible, perhaps is ice cold, and the waitress come forward and say, "and how is everything here?" And with a kind smile I'll reply, "Oh my, just great! Thank you!" lol.. So for me to suddenly develop a spine and go back in and be adamant about going to confession now was extremely out of character for me..... But I did it! I went back in, walked up to the secretary and said, "Excuse me Mamaan? I don't expect you to understand, but I really need to see a priest today.. Is there any priest's around anywhere close by at all?" A little annoyed, she asked me to take a seat and then disappeared down the hall for a few minutes.. She returned saying, "Go straight down the hall to the third door to the right.. Fr. John will see you."
I entered Fr. John's office, knelt down on the floor and made the sign of the cross.. I was suddenly hit with fear! Oh my gosh! It must be over ten years since my last confession! He's going to lay right into me!! I completely panicked!! "You may begin." Fr. John spoke.. "Bless me Father for I have sinned.. it has been (I blurred my speech) since my last confession.." Not able to make out exactly what I said, he interrupted, "Excuse me, I can't really hear you.." Again, I began this time my voice more clear, "Bless me Father for I have sinned.. it's been ... um.. 2 years since my last confession." Oh my gosh I just lied! To a priest! In the confessional!! I finished, made an act of contrition which he walked me through, gave me 3 Our Father's penance and absolution and sent me on my way.. I got up, walked no more than 10 steps and again, stopped dead in my tracks! All I kept hearing over and over in my head is "You lied! I can't believe you just lied! Your confession is no good.. you need to go back in there.." I turned around, came to stop at Father's door and peeking in asked if I could see him for a moment again.. I went to confession all over again, this time being totally honest about everything, including how long it had been since I was in the Church.. there was no yelling.. no chastisements.. no heavy handed severe penance.. Just a smile and a 'welcome home'...
