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Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Matthew 5: 23,24
"Today I wish to call you all to confession, even if you have confessed a few days ago. I wish that you all experience my feast day within ourselves. But you cannot experience it unless you abandon yourselves completely to God. Therefore, I am inviting you all to reconciliation with God!"
Medjugorje message, March 24, 1985
Unlike the first pilgrimage to Medjugorje I had made in October 2008, this pilgrimage I was able to spend more quiet moments in reflection and prayer. And each day that I was in Medjugorje I was able to take at least one walk alone just to reflect and to pray or to spend a few quiet moments before the Blessed Sacrament.. It’s very peaceful here and it is a tremendous blessing to be able to do this at any given time here. You are away from the world. Not part of the world in the same manner you have no choice but to be when you are back home surrounded by all the hustle & bustle of our daily lives.
Here in Medjugorje there are no interruptions and no noise pollution. If you feel the need to be alone just to pray you can do it.. Of course, when I say “alone to pray” it is really a misdemeanor when you think of it. When one prays we are never ever alone because God is ever present. The alone I am speaking of means no worldly distractions… away from interruptions. Nothing holds you back. And when you are walking along a dirt path quietly praying, Rosary in hand, you are likely here to pass someone doing the same. You don’t see that in the city. Most people don’t see that no matter what part of the world they come from. Not a lot of people in our society praying a whole heck of a lot these days. .. at least not in public. In a fast moving world prayer often tends to take a back burner to everything else on the days agenda.. Yet here in Medjugorje, it’s part and parcel of everyday life. Actually, life is centered around prayer here in Medjugorje.
Early afternoon on Monday, the 7th day of our pilgrimage, I went for a walk alone just to be with Our Lady and to have a nice chat with Her. I wanted to talk with Our Lady and pour my heart out. I had so much hurt inside. So much was weighing me down. The first Medjugorje pilgrimage I came as if a little kid, anxious, full of energy and full of life, and extremely excited to finally be visiting this place that holds a very special place in my heart. This recent pilgrimage I returned to Medjugorje a broken man.
I made a climb alone that afternoon up Apparition Hill. I wanted answer. I wanted to know why? I wanted to understand… I also wanted comfort and consolation… acceptance.. forgiveness.. and I wanted so much to be healed of the deep hurts I bore inside..
Well, one thing about God is that God is the most merciful of all! He IS mercy! Astonishingly merciful! Yet, at the same time He is justice… This means, He stands for truth and all that is just and true. And in any situation we may come to Him crying on His shoulder about all our aches and pains and little bo bo’s, Yes, He is definitely there ready to take us into His Heart to console us and comfort us… But the reality is, He is also there ready to tell us the truth, that is, what it is that we NEED to hear, even though far too often the truth is the last thing we are ready or willing to hear… the last thing we want to hear.. But God is gentle when gentleness is needed. He knows just how to bring us around to know the truth in our hearts if we have the willingness of heart to seek Him… And God is also stern when He needs to be stern… And in that sternness He knows exactly what to do to draw our attention and focus towards what we need to do…
The skies were fairly clear surrounding most of the village. A few lingering clouds not far in the distance that looked as though they could bring rain later in the day… But all in all the skies did not look ominous by any means.. I began to make my way up Apparition Hill. Step by step I found my footing along each climb as I put forth my one arm and hand to keep my balance and held a set of Rosary beads in the other hand. As I began to climb I also began to pray the Rosary. And with each step I took, each bead I held in my fingers, and each Hail Mary I recited, I prayed for a new intention… And as I continued to do this I began more and more to pour out my heart to Our Blessed Mother… all my concerns, all my fears, all my aches, and all my hurts…
“Mother Mary, take this soul into Your most loving heart.” And “Mother Mary, what about this person? Take them into your most loving heart.” Or “oh yes and that person too..” And on and on I prayed for each and very soul I could possibly think of.. And of course I prayed for my own soul… And as I approached near to the white statue of Our Lady that sits near the top of the hill where She first appeared to the 6 young children, I sat down next to the statue and began to weep… Suddenly it was raining… at first a light drizzle, but then a sudden and brief downpour! I looked around and dark clouds had moved in over the hill from beyond the other side..
I began to make my way down the hill very carefully.. The rocks were as if wet slippery ice, slick as you could possibly imagine! And I knew without a doubt by all logic that I should slip and fall at any moment… It was inevitable! No one could possibly tread down these rocks without slipping… There’s just no way! And as I maneuvered as gracefully and carefully as I possibly could down each step I said in my thoughts, “What are you telling me here dear Lady? What is your message? Here I am I finally get a moment to climb up here to visit with you by myself, just you and me, and you seem to be chasing me away.. why?” And suddenly within my heart I heard the words, “Because I want you to be cleaned first. Then come back and see me..” Well, I knew what that meant.. I didn’t need to be told twice.. lol..
I continued to make my way down the hill, carefully… gracefully… with as much stealth as I possibly could to avoid falling.. All the while praying for Our Lady’s help.. for my guardian angels help.. Well, my feel slipped from under me I think a total of about 5 times during the duration of my journey back down the hill… Yet never once did I fall… From Apparition Hill through the fields as the drizzling rain continued I made my way into town to the grounds of St. James Parish and made a bee line straight for the confessionals.. As I entered the confessional it was drizzling steady and the skies were dark and somewhat ominous.. When I emerged from the confessional the Medjugorje skies were bright and clear as could be!
