Chapter One: Dear Children

By John Christenson








See Full Testimony Here

"Dear children! I have told you already that I have chosen you in a special way, just the way you are. I, the Mother, love you all. And in any moment that is difficult for you, do not be afraid! Because I love you even then when you are far from me and my Son. Please, do not let my heart weep with tears of blood because of the souls who are lost in sin. Therefore, dear children, pray, pray, pray! Thank you for having responded to my call."
Our Lady's Medjugorje Message, May 24, 1984

In the spring of 2004, I had been away from the Church for nearly 10 years.. By this time, like many in society today, I had grown accustomed to living life on my terms trying to reach that ultimate sense of success.. A nice home, a new car, a good paying job, lot's of money in the bank, the 'perfect' wife, perfect kids, a well groomed lawn, a workshop in the garage, and a trip to Hawaii of course would top the cake just perfect I thought.. Of course, I did not have all these things but these were my goals in life.. What I did have was a lack of employment, a marriage that was falling apart, not even enough change in my pocket to grab coffee in the morning let alone support my wife and children.. we were on the verge of being evicted, and I carried an extremely deep sense of feeling alone and abandoned to the world in my heart..

I had become an extremely worldly soul by this time.. I lived for 'self'... For years an alcoholic and drug user, I had quit drinking years earlier, however still, I had fallen into many other worldly vises.. I practically worshiped rock music, idolizing bands like Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne, Iron Maiden, Metallica, and the very worst of the worst in what is often deemed devil worshiping music.. Tuesday evening I would rush home, "everyone get out of my way! The Osbourne's are on T.V.!!" It was the highlight of my week..

Then, one spring evening, shortly after my wife and kids were asleep in bed, I stood on the back porch of our little two bedroom bungalow just staring up towards the heavens pondering the outcome so far of my horrible life.. My life was falling apart and it was really beginning to hit me hard.. I couldn't cope anymore.. My marriage was in great peril.. and I just couldn't make any real sense of it all.. That tends to happen when we refuse to look at ourselves.. How could everything turn out this way? I'm a good person, ain't I?.. But what a mess my life had become.. I was on the verge of suicide, the only thing holding me back was the horrible thought of what might lie on the 'other side'... "Lord, if You exist then You better step in, cause I can't take it anymore!" I cried..

The following day, I was out in the early afternoon doing some yard work.. a man named Chris, a mutual friend I knew through working in construction pulled up into our driveway.. he had a small plaster repair for a customer of his for me to take a look at if I was interested.. He told me all about the little job and gave me the customer's phone number, one conversation lead to the next and soon we were onto other topics, including the 'times' we are living in.. Until this moment I was not aware that Chris was Catholic.. We had never discussed religion or faith before.. Yet, he seemed so comfortable to just open up and share his faith.. and despite my being away from the Church for so long I did not feel threatened in any way as I generally would whenever someone began talking religion..

Chris wasn't talking religion though.. he was sharing a message of truth.. That Our Lady was coming in these times to call Her children back to God.. That our beloved Holy Father Pope John Paul II was chosen directly by Our Lady to help Her achieve this goal, and that Jesus was standing there ready to forgive and welcome God's children back into His Heart like the prodigal son of Scripture.. I listened.. A tad skeptical but I listened.. After about an hour and a half Chris needed to get going, but before he pulled out of the driveway he handed me a book.. This book contained messages from Our Lady to a Roman Catholic priest named Fr. Stefano Gobbi...

Now whether or not these messages to Fr. Gobbi prove to be legit in the end did not matter .. What mattered was what happened deep within my heart as I sat down that evening and began to read them.. Elizabeth and the kids were already in bed and I sat there with this book on my lap as it seemed to call out to me to open it up and read it.. So I did.. And within minutes it was as if Our Lady herself was speaking directly to me.. I could even hear the words I was reading in the tone of a gentle woman's voice calling out to me.. "Listen my dear child, I love you so much.." and the more I read the more the tears began to flow..

By about the third message I read I was overwhelmed with an onslaught of emotions! Sadness and regret.. remorse.. I could suddenly see every little sin I ever committed.. I could see everything I was doing wrong that lead up to where I was in my life at that moment.. but despair?? Nope! Not at all! That's the whole miracle of it all.. Because, at the same time I felt loved.. complete utter love! "You're going to be okay my child.. just take my hand and I will lead you to salvation.. to my Son Jesus who desires to forgive you and welcome you back into a life you were meant to live.." I jumped out of my seat and began scouring the house for a Rosary.. I just had to pray!!! I felt so desperate to pray for forgiveness.. to start making things right! Right with God.. right with others!

I searched and I searched.. "Darn!" I thought.. "How come every time I clean this house I stumble across so many Rosaries! Gosh, she has them everywhere!" (Actual words I used omitted) I thought.. referring to my wife's small collection of Rosaries over the years.. "Yet now I need one and can't find one!" ::) After about a 20 minute search finally, alas! Amidst junk in a junk drawer I found a Rosary! And not just a Rosary, but a very special Rosary that had a prophesy attached to it.. You see, some years earlier, just before I fell away from the Church I had been on a weekend Catholic men's retreat.. and a very quiet man who hardly said a word the entire retreat came up to me along the path the last hour before everyone was to leave for home and handed me this beautiful cherry wood Rosary with the word 'MEDJUGORJE' inscribed on the Crucifix.. I remembered within an instant as I now stood there desperate to pray with this same Rosary in my hands.. He had placed it in my hands, looked me in the eyes and said, "One day you are going to need this Rosary.. Please remember me when you pray with it." I thought, wow! How prophetic is that! And I did remember.. as bad as I am with names, I remembered his name and offered prayers on the spot for John.. he shared the same name as mine..

So here I was, the very first time in almost a decade holding a precious Rosary in my hands.. It had been 10 years since I prayed.. 10 years since my last confession.. 10 years since I went to Church.. at least aside from Weddings, Baptisms, and funerals where all i got out of it was sitting there staring at the ceiling admiring the architecture.. I began to pray the Rosary.. very rusty though, I even couldn't remember all the words to the Hail Mary.. and certainly couldn't remember to say the Fatima prayer after each decade, "O my Jesus, forgive us our sins.. save us from the fires of hell.. Lead all souls to heaven, especially those in most need of your mercy." Not even sure if I had known this prayer prior to that night..

Suddenly, I NEEDED to do all of this! To begin praying.. to go back to Church and to confession.. to have Jesus back into my life.. And the most amazing of all the possible graces in all of this was that I WANTED to do all of this! So I knew what I had to do and couldn't wait until tomorrow to go do it! I fell asleep with that Rosary in my hands.. By the way, that was May 13, 2004... Feast of the first Fatima Apparition..

Chapter Two: Lead All Souls to Heaven, Especially Those in Most Need of Thy Mercy,..

By John Christenson


















See Full Testimony Here

"Dear children! I call you to decide completely for God. I beseech you, dear children, to surrender yourselves completely and you shall be able to live everything I am telling you. It shall not be difficult for you to surrender yourselves completely to God. Thank you for having responded to my call."
Our Lady's Medjugorje Message, January 2, 1986


The following morning I awoke sitting in a chair in our living room with this precious Medjugorje Rosary in my hand.. What I've not yet mentioned also was that about a year or so prior to this powerful moment of conversion in my life, Saul learning to become like Paul, our land lady Florence who also became a friend, and very much like a mother to Elizabeth and & I, had made a pilgrimage to Medjugorje.. And while she was there she prayed for our family..

Now how many of you were heeding Our Lady's call to prayer and praying for conversions let's say about 5 years ago? You were praying for me! Did you know that! Thank you my friends.. This wrenched waste of a sinner that I was standing on the footsteps of hell! Well, now of course you did not know who I was, but you were certainly praying for me... and as a result, I am here today giving my own conversion testimony.. Pretty awesome stuff huh!! :D

That was the biggest wake-up call for me! The evening before, as I read Our Lady's messages, and truth began to work inside of my heart, a truth that was eager to set me free if I should decide to heed this truth, was that it had suddenly occurred to me right there in that moment, that if I was to let's say, walk outside my door and be struck down by a car and killed, or had taken a sudden massive heart attack, I faced Hell.. Yes, Hell!! There was no debating this reality.. I was in deep deep mortal sin and I suddenly realized it..

The Catechism states; 1033 We cannot be united with God unless we freely choose to love him. But we cannot love God if we sin gravely against him, against our neighbor or against ourselves: "He who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him."610 Our Lord warns us that we shall be separated from him if we fail to meet the serious needs of the poor and the little ones who are his brethren.611 To die in mortal sin without repenting and accepting God's merciful love means remaining separated from him for ever by our own free choice. This state of definitive self- exclusion from communion with God and the blessed is called "hell."

Sounds like a perfect opportunity for despair does it not? This is exactly where I was at in my life prior to this moment of illumination of conscience.. But that's the miraculous beauty of it all! Was that in a great moment of true illumination of conscience, as I was shown all my sinfulness, all my faults, all that I had done horrible to others, all the times I rejected Christ by rejecting others he put in my life, all the times I spit in Christ's face by spitting in the face of others, instead of severe chastisement, agonizing admonishment and punishment, instead, Jesus stood before me as the Risen Christ arms outstretched saying, "I am here... your burden is heavy and My yoke is light.. struggle no more my child.. instead, come, follow me, and I will give you rest.. Instead of despair, I found consolation and love..

As painful as it is to admit, I treated people really horrible... But when it comes to painfully sharing my past, I don't mind sharing about myself for one reason and one reason only.. Maybe my sharing will help someone else out there one day who maybe needs to hear it because they are going through something similar.. I was very selfish in nature.. If there was nothing in it for me I was indifferent towards others.. I was great at being a taker, not so great at giving of myself.. especially unconditionally, no strings attached.. My wife and children suffered the most through all of this... They often bore the brunt of it..

What does it mean to be evil? To be of this world? For that matter, what does it mean to be satanic? Well, Jesus tells us that the greatest Commandment is to Love God with all our heart & all our mind.. The second of these two which in essence really goes hand in hand together is, to love our neighbor.. So, it only makes perfect sense that to be evil, to be satanic means to serve self... the direct opposite of loving God and loving others.. Without delving into the garbage of satanism, I will note that the opening verse of the satanic bible reads, "Do what thou whilst and worry not of the consequences.." Not that I have read it.. I have no interest in doing so nor do I encourage anyone else to.. all of us ought really just stay completely away from this stuff! However, this is something I was made aware of some years ago in doing research for my book..

So if this is true satanism, then I must admit looking back in hindsight prior to the start of my conversion and realize how close I was to going straight to Hell had I suddenly died at any given time during all those years away from the Church.. It's just a fact.. an extremely frightening one at that!! But then, see, that's why God is so merciful! He is not about fear.. And He is not solely about justice but with complete fullness of mercy.. And on that powerful day of conversion I experienced that ultimate powerful mercy first hand.. I deserved Hell! No question about it!! Yet here was Jesus saying, "But no, I don't want you in Hell my friend.. I want you in heaven with Me.. Please, please follow Me..."

Chapter Three: I Confess....

By John Christenson

















See Full Testimony Here

"Dear children! Today I call you to prepare yourselves for the coming of Jesus. In a special way, prepare your hearts. May holy Confession be the first act of conversion for you and then, dear children, decide for holiness. May your conversion and decision for holiness begin today and not tomorrow. Little children, I call you all to the way of salvation and I desire to show you the way to Heaven. That is why, little children, be mine and decide with me for holiness. Little children, accept prayer with seriousness and pray, pray, pray. Thank you for having responded to my call." Our Lady's Medjugorje Message, November 25, 1998

I left that morning for work a little early, Rosary in hand, walking the neighborhood paths through the dark for the sun had not yet began to rise, reciting the Rosary and at the same time having this long awaited conversation with Jesus and Our Blessed mother telling them how sorry I was.. asking them to take care of me, of us, my family, my wife, my children.. asking Jesus over and over to have mercy on me and to forgive me for all the horrible things I've done..

About half way to work as I walked along a busy main road I distinctly heard the words of a gentle woman within my heart, not sure how to describe it... I don't think it was an actual inner locution, more like a direct thought within my own thoughts that didn't seem to be fabricated on my own accord if that makes any sense.. but I distinctly heard, "When you go home tonight, be rid of that book you have been reading and begin reading God's Word.." Well, the book being referred to here is the writings of Nostradamus, a 16th century wizard, hailed by many New Agers as a prophet.. The real concern with this however, is that his prophesies, if you can even call them that, do not come from God at all for it clearly says in Scripture to stay far away from sorcery.. Nostradamus was a Sorcerer.. So I did just that.. I went straight home after work, walked into the living room, picked up the new Nostradamus book I just paid about $70.00 Canadian for and tossed it into the garbage! Despite how much my wife resented me reading that stuff, puzzled she said, "Whatcha do that for?!" Attempting to explain, I replied, "Our Lady told me to.. " My wife rolled her eyes.. Shaking my head as I left the room added, "You wouldn't understand..." And hence forth I never went back to it..

I knew what I had to do to make things right with God.. To atone for the selfish life I had been living up until now.. Though I had not practiced my Catholic Faith in many years, suddenly I had all this knowledge coming back to me.. And I was being given a great sense of wisdom concerning the path ahead.. Almost like an emergency Catechism course over night, not taught by a priest, nor a biblical scholar or theologian, or academic layperson, but by Our Blessed Mother Herself through spontaneous prayer and unconditional surrender.. "Here I am Mother.. Please lead me.." A great and powerful wisdom that could have only come from above began to flow through my heart and I knew without a doubt and within an instant what I needed to do! I had to go to confession and I was not to put it off another minute..

I phoned my friend Chris and asked him if he knew a priest I could speak with.. He told me about Fr. Beaune, a retired Basilian priest (Order of St. Basil) living in residence at Our Lady of the Assumption Parish.. "That's odd..", I thought.. I've been to Assumption Church once before many years ago... 1991 as a matter of fact.. I was there simply by chance, or at least so I thought, the same day that this young man named Ivan from Medjugorje came to talk and received an Apparition from Our Lady just before the evening Mass.. I picked up the phone and gave Fr. Beaune a call.. This poor priest! He says, "Hello?" And I started right in! "Father, I need to talk with a priest! I need to go to confession! I need to come back to the Church! Oh my gosh Father!" On and on and on... lol.. He listened to me for the next 15 minutes as I told him my whole conversion story that had transpired the past 24 hours, and after finishing finally says, "Well John, it sounds like the Holy Spirit has lit a fire under your chair." lol..

Fr. Beaune made an appointment with me, and also invited my family and I to come to Mass this coming Sunday
and he would gladly help us make as a family make a Consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary... He also told me about Adoration.. something I had never heard of that I could ever recall.. He told me how the Rosary Chapel located next door to the Parish is always open throughout each day and I could go in there at any time and just sit and talk to Jesus.. I liked how that sounded.. "Just what I need!" I thought..

So soon, perhaps the next day I went and sought out this little Chapel.. There was a lady sitting in the first pew close to the Blessed Sacrament.. I knelt down in a pew near the back.. not sure what I'm supposed to be doing, I pulled out my Rosary and began to pray.. "Wow! What sudden and abrupt changes in me the past day!" I thought.. Not even 48 hours earlier you would have never have got me to go to Church just on my own to spend time with Jesus... I looked ahead towards the woman sitting in the front pew with her back to me.. and I had this sudden thought, "She will say many prayers for you in the years ahead.." And chuckling to myself I thought, "That's kind of odd.. I don't even know her."

I wasn't in the Chapel very long, not even having completed the Rosary and it was as if the Holy Spirit suddenly interrupted me tapping me on the shoulder to say, "Are you forgetting something?"

"Oh yeah!" I suddenly remembered I need to go to confession.. So I finished the Rosary, made the sign of the Cross, knelt down before the Blessed Sacrament as I had seen the woman that had been sitting in the front do as she had left earlier, and then headed out of the Chapel to somehow go and find a priest.. I just couldn't wait until my meeting with this Fr. Beaune I was to have in a few days.. I needed to go now!

I rang the doorbell to the rectory of Assumption Church.. I waited.... I rang it again.. I waited..... finally, the door opened and the secretary answered, "May I help you?" I explained that I was looking for a priest to go to confession with.. She said there were no priest's available at the moment.. I asked, "Is there another place around here I could check?" She pointed me across the University lawn to the Assumption College building to which I thanked her and proceeded to go to.. But once inside the seemingly desolate facility, I soon found another dead end... The secretary there also explained that there were no priest's around and that my best bet was to call the rectory and make an appointment or wait until Saturday to go to the regular scheduled confessions at 5pm.. Well, I wasn't waiting! Like a little kid prancing in the backseat of the car, "I had to go! And I had to go NOW!"

I got about 20 steps outside the doors of Assumption college and stopped dead in my tracks... Now, I'm generally not a person with a lot of backbone.. I'm the kind of person that can be seated at a restaurant, the food tastes horrible, perhaps is ice cold, and the waitress come forward and say, "and how is everything here?" And with a kind smile I'll reply, "Oh my, just great! Thank you!" lol.. So for me to suddenly develop a spine and go back in and be adamant about going to confession now was extremely out of character for me..... But I did it! I went back in, walked up to the secretary and said, "Excuse me Mamaan? I don't expect you to understand, but I really need to see a priest today.. Is there any priest's around anywhere close by at all?" A little annoyed, she asked me to take a seat and then disappeared down the hall for a few minutes.. She returned saying, "Go straight down the hall to the third door to the right.. Fr. John will see you."

I entered Fr. John's office, knelt down on the floor and made the sign of the cross.. I was suddenly hit with fear! Oh my gosh! It must be over ten years since my last confession! He's going to lay right into me!! I completely panicked!! "You may begin." Fr. John spoke.. "Bless me Father for I have sinned.. it has been (I blurred my speech) since my last confession.." Not able to make out exactly what I said, he interrupted, "Excuse me, I can't really hear you.." Again, I began this time my voice more clear, "Bless me Father for I have sinned.. it's been ... um.. 2 years since my last confession." Oh my gosh I just lied! To a priest! In the confessional!! I finished, made an act of contrition which he walked me through, gave me 3 Our Father's penance and absolution and sent me on my way.. I got up, walked no more than 10 steps and again, stopped dead in my tracks! All I kept hearing over and over in my head is "You lied! I can't believe you just lied! Your confession is no good.. you need to go back in there.." I turned around, came to stop at Father's door and peeking in asked if I could see him for a moment again.. I went to confession all over again, this time being totally honest about everything, including how long it had been since I was in the Church.. there was no yelling.. no chastisements.. no heavy handed severe penance.. Just a smile and a 'welcome home'...

Chapter Four: Father, Would You be My Spiritual Director?

By John Christenson
















See Full Testimony Here



"Dear children! Today I call you to look into your hearts sincerely and for a long time. What will you see in them? Where is my Son in them and where is the desire to follow me to Him? Children, may this time of renunciation be a time when you will ask yourself: 'What does my God desire of me personally? What am I to do?' Pray, fast and have a heart full of mercy. Do not forget your shepherds. Pray that they may not get lost, that they may remain in my Son so as to be good shepherds to their flock." Our Lady to Mirjana, March 18, 2009

Our Lady looked at all those present and added: "Again I say to you, if you knew how much I love you, you would cry with happiness. Thank you."


I remember the first day I met Fr. Beaune.. This would have been about a week after my conversion journey began.. I had assumed our meeting would last perhaps no more than 15 or 20 minutes, maybe 30 at the most, considering that most priest's now a days are so busy they barely have time to keep up with all the phone calls coming in from Parishioners needing prayers, needing advice, needing consolation.. Well, our first visit lasted from about 1:30 in the afternoon until about 4:00pm.. And by no means was this because he was not a busy priest. Even in his retirement, so many in the faith community continually kept Fr. Beaune busy tending to our needs.

Fr. Beaune greeted me at the door with a warm smile and a firm handshake when I arrived.. He had me take a seat in the lounge to wait a few minutes while he tended to a phone call.. And at 80 years old and retired many parishioners still kept him quite busy seeking spiritual direction.. The Basilian priests for many years oversaw affairs at Our Lady of the Assumption Parish as well as the many surrounding facilities associated with the Parish near the University of Windsor such as Assumption High School or Assumption College.. A lot has changed over the years in terms of administrative power however some of the properties still remain within the diocese and under the care of the Basilian Fathers. At the time of our meeting Fr. Beaune was living with two other retired priests at the Basilian Fathers residence located in the north wing of Assumption High School.


Fr. Beaune is a very sweet man deeply loved and respected by his Parish community and all those who have come to know this gentle man throughout the years in the Windsor and surrounding region. He taught for many years at Assumption High School.. Today, he enjoys his prayer groups. I think he attends three or four a week.. Faithfully every year he celebrates midnight Mass on New Years Eve.. He has an extremely deep devotion to Our Blessed mother and is a firm believer and advocate of the Medjugorje message.. Fr. Beaune is in his mid 80s today.. he is diabetic and watches his diet carefully, however unfortunately suffered a stroke about two years ago, shortly after he and I returned from visiting our forum friend Katie (Katerit28) who had arranged to take us to visit the man named Francis who had the stigmata for many years and who lived in her hometown.

Soon, Fr. Beaune returned to the room, took a seat and we began to talk. I remember him thumbing a Rosary in his hand.. Something I would later come to know as a sacramental spiritual weapon very close to his heart.. At some moment in the middle of our sharing I asked, "Father, I just went to confession a few days ago, am I still allowed to go again this soon if I want to make another confession?" Father replied, "Of course you can. You can go everyday if you feel the need..” Adding, “It is believed that Pope John Paul II goes to confession everyday.. " :) So I knelt down and made another confession for the second time in one week.. Well, actually, a third time including the first one I botched..

And it was on this very same day that I was introduced to new prayer called the Divine Mercy Chaplet.. :) Well, new to me anyways.. The Divine Mercy message given to St. Faustina by Jesus during the 1930s as Jesus had indicated that it would be, was banned by the Church for many years up until Pope John Paul II the ‘Spark from Poland’ came along.. Being a firm believer in the Divine Mercy message long before the Church was even willing to recognize not only it’s validity but it’s tremendous vital importance especially in these often dire times, though never disobeying the Church but simply waiting patiently in faith until the moment that the truth would finally come to light, Fr. Beaune was instrumental in bringing the Divine Mercy Chaplet to our local area many years ago. He was in attendance during both St. Faustina’s Beatification on April 18, 1993, and her Canonization on April 30, 2000.. I would not doubt those who have come to know the Divine Mercy Chaplet and it’s message over the years through Fr. Beaune more than likely literally number in the thousands..

I asked Fr Beaune that day if he would consider being my spiritual director of which after a moment of quiet reflection he opened his eyes and looked up at me with a smile and said, “Yes.” Unbeknown to me in that moment not only had I just obtain a spiritual director but I had also just made a very genuine friend and confidant for life.. Someone who would be honest with me.. Who would tell me when I was in error yet also encourage me no matter how difficult the trials that lay ahead to pick myself up and carry on through the merciful grace of Our Lord.. Someone who would help guide me along the way of Christ scripturally according to Church Doctrine and tenderly according to Our Lady’s messages.. Someone who would also encourage me in my own personal relationship to behold Mother Mary, the Mother of Christ, who becomes my heavenly Mother.. Someone who would always steer me back towards the path of righteousness no matter how wrong I had become through the Sacrament of Confession and the proper guidance to amend my life.. Yes, someone I could confide in, who I could share my deepest struggles and shortcomings with and never ever feel judged no matter how embarrassing or humbling they were to talk about.. Yes, I had met someone who would be as Christ in the flesh to me to show me the way towards salvation..

Chapter Five: The Amazing Wonders of Conversion

By John Christenson















See Full Testimony Here


Medjugorje is a place that touched my heart in a very profound way. I struggle to find words to describe what God allowed me to experience. All of us encounter from time to time in our lives special moments of deep gratitude that brings tears of joy to our eyes when we have been blessed in a special way. The intensity of these moments often last but a short time yet they always leave a deep imprint of love in our hearts. In Medjugorje, I experienced the love of God in an indescribable and profound way that made every moment of every day I was there unique and special. I can not put into words the love that I have received. God’s love! There are no words available to describe what I witnessed through the abundant outpouring of God’s infinite mercy. I can not wrap my tiny little mind around this love. But I will try.

As I began this beautiful pilgrimage into Our Lady’s Heart the morning of October 8, 2008, I most desired to empty myself of all that prevents me from allowing Christ into my own heart. It was Wednesday morning and our Medjugorje pilgrimage would begin in just a few short hours. My greatest desire as I awoke that morning and prepared to enter into this new era of my conversion was to make a good confession and receive Jesus in the Most Holy Eucharist. I simply could not begin a pilgrimage into Our Lady’s Heart without having first done this.

Yet this pilgrimage had not begun the day of our departure but the moment I was told that Our Lady desires for me to come to Medjugorje and that indeed I would be going! And it was in that moment that I realized I was about to take yet another step towards Christ in my own journey of conversion.

I would experience great phenomenon, witness many miracles and receive an abundant outpouring of powerful graces! I watched the sun spin and do marvelous things for the first time in my life. The first day in Medjugorje I watched as a unique cloud formation just above St. James parish turn completely into the shape of Our Lady. I was amazed at how bundles of Rosaries thrown together into a bag would never get tangled with each other at any time, but that you could always pull a single Rosary away from it’s stash with great ease.

But the greatest miracles of all that I witnessed were the continual transformations in conversion among pilgrims arriving.. some with skepticism in their hearts and yet days later leaving with a complete and utter joy of the Lord. To watch a young person who had never really experienced faith or had never really participated in any form of prayer arrive with seeds of doubt in their hearts and by day two eagerly participate in the recitation of the Rosary or be the first to speak up and say, “Hey! What’s this ‘Adoration’? Can we check it out?” and then see them in awe and reverence for God was just amazing! Or to see a pilgrim one moment show no interest in going to confession and the next minute stop suddenly in conversation to say, “I’ll see you later on! I need to go find a priest!” and watch them walk away and go stand in the confession lines for the very first time in many years simply brought tears to my eyes! These were the greatest miracles I witnessed! The conversions! And they are plentiful and abundant in Medjugorje!

Chapter Six: Heaven's Flowers

By John Christenson
















See Full Testimony Here

“Do not forget that you are passing like a flower in a field, which is visible from afar but disappears in a moment. Little children, leave a sign of goodness and love wherever you pass and God will bless you with an abundance of His blessing. Thank you for having responded to my call.” Our Lady of Medjugorje, January 25, 2007


Apart from visiting a few places in Canada and the U.S. this is the first time that I have ever really traveled abroad. So there were a lot of new adventures for me to experience.. One of them was to fly over the Atlantic Ocean. Another was to travel to Europe itself. And yet another was to visit a place where Our Blessed Mother is appearing. By the time we would reach Medjugorje our pilgrim group would have celebrated Mass on three occasions, prayed together all 20 Mysteries of the Rosary.. the Divine Mercy Chaplet, the Angelus as well as a lot of personal conversations with Jesus and Our Blessed Mother..

From Windsor to Toronto we travelled by bus stopping along the way a few times to pick up other fellow pilgrims. We began with eight pilgrims in Windsor and by the time we would reach Toronto all 52 pilgrims would be together. On the bus to Toronto a lady named Josie sat with me. We became friends within a few short moments sharing with each other the fruits of our conversion journeys up until now. Everyone on this pilgrimage became friends instantly! It was just wonderful to see faithful souls come together and get to know one another so quickly. Much like how our friendships transpire here on this forum. There were two Josie’s in our group. This Josie who I had the privilege to sit next to on the bus was the older one who would celebrate her birthday on the Friday we were to leave Medjugorje. The younger Josie we would meet up with in Toronto.

Once in Toronto, we teamed up with the other half of our pilgrim group also arriving in Toronto from various places around the country including New Brunswick and British Colombia. Our group was not all Canadian though. One pilgrim named Sarah, who works with Fr. Rookey had flown in from Chicago to accompany us on our pilgrimage. We celebrated our second Mass once all 52 pilgrims were together in the airport Chapel in Toronto. From Toronto to Vienna of course we travelled by plane. And again from Vienna to Sarajevo we travelled by plane. And finally from Sarajevo to Mostar where we stopped at Sts. Peter & Paul Parish to celebrate our third Mass since we left Windsor. Then from Mostar we travelled again by bus to Medjugorje and reached Nada’s, the home we would stay at just before dinner was served at 8:00pm..

We had left Windsor just before 10:00am EST Wednesday morning and reached Medjugorje nearing 8:00pm (Bosnian Time) Thursday night. In total we travelled 28 hours before arriving in Medjugorje. During this time I would pass a lot of flowers! Some I would simply say “thank you” to in passing, for having held a door open for me in an airport terminal or for serving me a coffee in a café along the way knowing that I would never see them again.. I always tried to say a little prayer for each person I encountered no matter how brief our meeting was.. Sometimes they knew little or no English yet always understood “thank you”.. I think it is the smiles that give it away! A smile is understood in every language that exists or has ever existed.. Some of these flowers I would get to know very well by the end of our pilgrimage. All of them would touch my heart at some depth in one way or another.

There would be 52 pilgrims in total! And our ages would range from early 20s to late 70s. And everyone was just wonderful to be travelling with! The younger ones were always looking out for the older ones in our group. We had a small group of young people who were just great the entire pilgrimage! They really went out of their way to help others and to look out for the rest of the group! They were more than willing to carry luggage or help our elderly up and down escalators.. At the airports we were always checking behind us to see that everyone was with us at all times.. Everyone looked out for each other! It was awesome!


The airplane we took from Toronto to Vienna was a rather large one. Across, it sat two seats, an isle, three seats, another isle and then two seats. Not sure, I think it’s called a 767.. My seat was the middle seat of the center section. On my left was a lady named Tatiana. She was not with our group.. She is a native of Bosnia and was flying home to be with her family as they gathered around the bed of her ailing father named Savo who had recently fallen very ill. Tatiana and I talked for a good part of that 9 hour journey across the Atlantic. She was comforted in knowing that I would carry her prayer request’s with me to Medjugorje after we landed.. For me, she was a God-send! She knew just the right comforting words to say each time we hit turbulence and John-boy would close his eyes and grab a firm hold of the arms of the chairs on both sides of him.

I had only flown once before as a teenager. And so I was not prepared for the turbulence we were about to endure. Many who were well accustomed to flying commented later that it was one of the worse flights they had ever experienced.. every so often you could literally feel the plane suddenly drop.. you could feel it in your stomach.. I kept thinking, “There goes another 1000 feet! And another! And yet another!” I knew I shouldn’t have watched ‘Cast Away’ just before this journey! I learned a lot about myself on that plane! And about my relationship with God in how sometimes I lack trust in moments I most need to trust in Him.. But you see, God gave me two angels to accompany me, one on each side to help me along the way.. for the sweet elderly lady on my right also brought me comfort in those moments when she grabbed hold of my hand and told me everything would be okay.. It was as if Our Blessed Mother herself was speaking to me.. and peace and comfort overcame all fear and anxiety..

Chapter Seven: Heavens Flower Garden

By John Christenson














See Full Testimony Here

Soon we arrived safely in Vienna. Our stop over there before departing on another plane to Sarajevo would be a long one.. About 5 hours. One does not rest well in an airport terminal no matter how fatigued we may feel. Many of us were a bit fatigued yet at the same time we were extremely hyped! This was very exciting for all of us! Especially the youth and those who had never made such a pilgrimage! So our long wait became one of casual socializing and getting to know one another in our pilgrim group.

Within the first hour of our arrival it became known that not everyone was together with our group. The two Alex’s, two of our youth had decided to go sight seeing around Vienna.. though we were asked to stay together and not venture off this was definitely a once in a lifetime opportunity they just couldn’t pass up! So those of us who became aware that they had strayed from the group kept them in our prayers that they would safely return in time to board the appropriate flight.. and they did in plenty of time to board our flight! And though they may have taken a risk with their decision to leave the airport it certainly comes with no regrets! Judging by the pictures they took while on their adventure Vienna is certainly a sight to behold! “Vienna sure has a lot of Cathedrals!” They would comment when they returned.


We arrived in Sarajevo in the early afternoon Thursday. Off to the side of the runway as we taxied in towards the terminal were about a half dozen burnt vehicles scattered along the airport field, remnants of a horrible war that could have been prevented had Our Lady’s call to reconcile with one another been heeded from the beginning. I felt sad for what I saw. I simply bowed my head in a moment of prayer for those who were victims during that time of trial and tribulation.

From Sarajevo we boarded a bus that would take us to Mostar. In Mostar we would make a special stop at Sts. Peter and Paul Parish to celebrate Mass. The Parish that is home to Draga who was our wonderful tour guide. Draga grew up with the visionaries. She played along with them as a child. And so she had lot’s of interesting stories to tell us. Her calling was to assist pilgrims as they come to Medjugorje.

We arrived in Medjugorje shortly before 8:00pm Thursday evening. We would stay at Nada’s Pansion just a short walk from St. James Parish. Many local families have opened the doors of their homes to the many pilgrims travelling to Medjugorje. We were well taken care of during our stay! Breakfast was served every morning around 7:30am.. and then again around 8:00pm we would gather in the main dining room to share in a beautiful meal together. And lunch of course if we were there but in most cases we were always out and about during the entire day. Nada always keeps a table in the dining room full of homemade snack, water and juice that is available day and night. So even if you awake at 2 in the morning hungry you could come to this table full of treats.. and she always welcomed John-boy with a smile into her kitchen to make a cup of coffee at any time..


During the journey from Mostar to Medjugorje I continued to pray silently as I admired the view out the bus window. The final moments were very exciting and my heart was anxious! Anxious to see in real life all the beautiful pictures I have gazed upon day after day in my conversion. Most of them courtesy of our brother Bluecross over the past few years!

A million questions came to mind! What would this whole experience be like? Oh I can’t wait to see St. James Parish! Or Apparition Hill! Or Cross Mountain! Or the visionaries! Will I see any of the visionaries? Will my life be transformed forever? Will I learn to love more? Will I learn to surrender to God more? Will I come away from here healed of my addictions? A new man?! And what about Malena and Bluecross and Bob McCall? Will I actually get to meet them?

Within a few minutes of arriving at Nada’s Thursday evening as we began to carry in all our luggage I was greeted with hugs at the front door of her Pansion. It was Malena and her daughter! What a warm and wonderful welcome! “Where’s Bluecross?” I asked as we embraced. But it was not time yet. Bluecross and I would meet at another moment under Our Lady’s Mantle.

Soon, Malena and her daughter left for the evening and I returned inside the house to join the others for our first sit down meal at Nada’s. Baked breaded chicken and French fries to my surprise! I had this vision of eating a lot of perogi’s and sauerkraut while in Europe.. Still, chicken and fries worked! Certainly a beautiful meal nevertheless! The food was awesome!


As fatigued as all of us were very few of us wanted to sleep. How could we sleep? We just arrived at the worlds entrance to heaven! The younger ones wanted to take a walk to the Risen Christ statue. So I joined them. Fr. Mike had asked that I try and stick with the younger ones during the pilgrimage to help keep them in a good direction. But I must say! There wasn’t any real need to chaperone. These kids were amazing! I say ‘kids’ but actually they are young adults in their early twenties. And to be honest John-boy just really enjoyed watching them grow in faith. It was awesome to watch them trying to absorb everything they were experiencing! This was a gift for me! As I also rediscovered a part of my own youth in accompanying the younger ones during this pilgrimage.

So off to the Risen Christ statue it was! But there was a special stop we were to make along the way I had not anticipated. We walked a path from the main street and were suddenly to my utter surprise on the Parish grounds. I stopped and stared for a few moments at St. James Church now towering within a hundred feet ahead of me and marveled at it’s beauty! It was then that I felt as if I were home! I can’t describe the warmth I felt in my heart! I just can’t put it into words! I’ve seen this building a thousand times in pictures! I’ve visited this Parish as many times in my thoughts! And here I was! Standing before the presence of God in a very special way I would have never in a million years thought possible! But who am I Lord that I should receive.. I was humbled! Thank You Jesus! Thank You Mother Mary!


And from the Church we began to walk around to the back of the property where we would find a beautiful illuminated path that would lead us right to the Risen Christ Statue. We gathered around Jesus. We prayed within the silence of our hearts. It was there before the Risen Christ that I began to entrust my family, each one by name.. and then I began to entrust my friends. Those associated with Don Bosco Home.. Our youth.. those in the choir I am in.. those in my prayer groups.. those I encounter in my line of work.. those who come to this beautiful forum.. name by name prayers began to pour out of my heart.. those I grew up with who I have not seen in years.. those who through my own stubbornness I became enemies with in the past.. those who have gone before me that they may rest in eternal peace.. my family, my friends, my enemies alike.. this outpouring of pleas towards heaven for those who have touched me deeply in life would continue throughout the coming days.. name by name I would carry my family and my friends, my enemies, and finally the entire world and all of humanity with me in my heart. This was truly a cleansing for me! Especially praying for my enemies.. for those I may have felt resentment for in the past at one time or another.. And I received many wonderful graces! Thank You Jesus for bringing every soul into my life who I have ever met! Thank You for giving me brothers and sisters throughout the world to be close to me and to share and celebrate life with me! I have nothing to offer but my own sinfulness.. yet You pour over me an abundance of gifts! Thank You Lord!

Chapter Eight: Learning to Fast

By John Christenson













See Full Testimony Here



“Dear children! I wish to tell you to thank God for all the graces which God has given you. For all the fruits thank the Lord and glorify Him! Dear children, learn to give thanks in little things and then you will be able to give thanks also for the big things. Thank you for having responded to my call.”
Our Lady of Medjugorje, October 3, 1985


Friday, October 10th, was our first full day in Medjugorje. Our Lady begins to teach me as I begin to learn what it means to begin anew! Of course being a Friday this was a fast day and being full of excitement I was very eager to please Our Lady and to heed Her call to conversion through prayer and fasting! So early in the morning I decided to completely fast from everything! No food except bread & water.. no coffee.. and no smoking.. Shocked Yep! Nothing but God and godly things for me! Very Happy Well, to be honest sometimes God has this unique way of humbling us when we try to take on the world and so….. I didn’t make it very far.. Embarrassed And I learned a very valuable lesson that first day in Medjugorje about “the spirit being willing but the flesh being weak.” It humbled me!

By 1:00pm I couldn’t take the withdrawal from going without a cigarette and coffee which I won’t argue are most likely my greatest addictions.. Especially the smoking! Barb, Evelyn and Sarah had invited me to accompany them to Victor’s Restaurant around noon.. They chose Victor’s because he caters to those fasting on bread and water and makes a wonderful bread to fast on.. When I expressed that I couldn’t take it anymore (the cravings!) and was going to step outside for a cigarette Sarah suggested that I eat a meal instead and only fast from the cigarettes, or from the smokes and coffee alone.. My skin was literally crawling! It was too late! I had made up my mind! I excused myself from the table and walked outside and lit a cigarette.. soon enough, I felt so guilty for being so weak and unable to succeed in this fast.. I was devastated! And I started saying sorry over and over to Jesus and Our Lady for failing.. And it was then that I looked up and saw this beautiful cloud formation just above St. James Parish that resembled Our Lady..




Therefore, that I might not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but He said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.”
2 Corinthians 12:7,8

Perhaps Our Lady was trying to tell me not to be too hard on myself or that I should not try to conquer the world when I fast because by this time I was really feeling not only discouraged but really defeated! So this consolation came at a perfect time.. While I’m sure Our Lady was probably smiling at my effort this was also a reminder to me that I can not do anything on my own without Christ. How much had I prepared for this? How much had I asked in prayer for the graces beforehand? I must make an effort to meet Jesus in the graces He desires to bestow upon me but I must also remember that it is only through Him that I can accomplish anything that bears good fruit.

“I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in Me and I in them will bear much fruit, because without Me you can do nothing.”
John 15:5

I stumbled in my pockets to take a picture (posted above) but unfortunately by the time I snapped the picture the cloud was loosing it’s form.. When I first saw this cloud you could see Our Lady’s head with a full mantle wrapped around Her.. Now I went from feeling defeated to feeling excited as if a little kid coming in the door from school eager to show mommy the picture I just drew at school! And so I quickly went back inside Victor’s to show the ladies the picture I had just taken.. The rest of the day I would fast on just a single bowl of soup and bread & water.. I know the cigarettes and the coffee will come in time eventually if I keep trying and remain open to the graces God desires to bestow.. How much do I desire to be transformed? Yet I am consoled! Keep praying for the grace John-boy! It’s already there! Just keep trying and don’t give up!



Beautiful Roses in Nada’s from yard where we stayed

There is something uniquely different about Medjugorje then my environment back at home. What is it? The first day or so I struggled a bit to grasp exactly what this difference is.. I don’t just mean around the Parish itself or around the special places of Our Lady’s Heart such as Apparition Hill or Cross Mountain, but even within the entire village itself and all the people you encounter there at any given moment. Then again, it goes without saying that all of humanity has a special place in Our Lady’s Heart! Yet it really didn’t take too long to notice the differences.. And these differences combined with the abundance of graces one continually receives has a lot to do with not ever wanting to leave Medjugorje..

If you have never been to Medjugorje image this for a moment.. Image walking out your front door and everywhere you turn there is a strong sense of peace you not only see but feel immensely and deep within your heart that is truly visible on each and every face and in every heart you encounter.. Again, with each passing moment your own heart truly begins to transform! Imagine entering a coffee shop, a restaurant or even a pub and as you take a seat you notice a beautiful portrait of Our Blessed Mother hanging on the wall.. And not just one shop, restaurant or pub but pretty much all of them! Or a Crucifix just above the counter as you go to pay your bill.. And soft music that sings praises to Our God playing in the background just about everywhere in town that you could possibly go.. Imagine a place where you can not walk half a block without passing a priest.. Imagine all your cab drivers where you live having Rosaries hanging from their rear-view-mirrors.. And knowing in your heart that those Rosaries are not merely decorations but are most likely put to great use on a daily basis..

Imagine going to Mass twice daily and everyone sings! And everyone wants to sit upfront! And there are anywhere from a dozen to twenty priest’s surrounding the Altar at each Mass.. And outside your Parish are lines and lines of people eager to make a good confession! And also outside are swarms of people gathered together reciting the Rosary no matter what language you speak.. We are all together in prayer! All of us! In unity! And that Jesus present in the Eucharist is at the center of it all! With His Blessed Mother Who He has given to us to be Our Mother covering each of us with Her Mantle of LOVE! Image that this is your town! That this is where you live! Pretty amazing huh! This is Medjugorje! No wonder we never want to leave!

Yes, I won’t lie.. The devil is always in the midst trying to ruin what Our Lady is doing.. She has warned us of this from the beginning.. "My dear children! Satan is so strong and with all his might wants to disturb my plans which I have begun with you. You pray, just pray and don't stop for a minute! I will pray to my Son for the realization of all the plans I have begun. Be patient and constant in your prayers. And don't let Satan discourage you. He is working hard in the world. Be on your guard!" January 14, 1985 (Message given to Vicka) And indeed, there were a few brief moments that I saw him at work.. But each time I also saw all of his attempts quickly snuffed out by the power of God.. I’m left to believe that ole hairy legs really has no power there at all.. He just keeps trying to sneak in the back door when no one is looking.. Then he gets busted and thrown back out until the next time he tries.. That’s my take on it anyways..

I never witnessed even a single argument among any two people the entire time I was in Medjugorje.. Just a whole lot of peace! Open hearts! And more open hearts! Unity! Care! Compassion! Mercy & Forgiveness! Stubborn hearts instantly changed and transformed into loving and compassionate hearts eager to help one another! All this LOVE pouring out into the streets of this tiny little village.. Our Lady’s goal? At least in part I’m sure is to see this love pour out onto every street in the entire world! So I couldn’t help feel that this is the way it’s supposed to be! Everywhere! Twenty seven years of pilgrims from every inch of the world making a physical & spiritual journey deep into Our Lady’s Heart.. She wants us to come to Medjugorje and receive this experience, these wonderful graces, this beautiful transformation of heart so that we may bring this love, God’s love, with us when we leave and enter back into our homes, our workplaces, our cities and our countries..


A beautiful Medjugorje sunset

Many of the pictures I took were of the sky at one moment or another.. a sunset.. a unique cloud formation.. Not merely because of anything miraculous that I felt the need to snap a picture but simply because I just marvelled a lot at God’s precious artwork.. The sky over Medjugorje was just gorgeous the entire time we were there.. As you can see by the pictures we were truly blessed to have great weather our entire stay! Very Happy


We’ve heard this said so many times before.. That Medjugorje is a school! A school of prayer.. We begin to learn how to pray from the heart.. we begin to really learn how to put God first in our lives.. we learn how to begin to surrender wholeheartedly to God.. we begin to learn how to recognize and separate our will from God’s will so that we can better discern and focus more on living according to God’s will..

Our Lady is teaching us, her precious children how to LOVE.. Humanity (I’m speaking in a general sense here) is loosing the ability to love.. Our world is becoming more and more a place that invites us to serve self.. Perhaps it’s been veering this way for a long time now.. And it goes without saying that undoubtedly this displeases God tremendously! Yet instead of choosing utter wrath as a means to deal with humanity as we continued to slip away from Him and His Law especially over the past recent age, out of His infinite mercy God chooses instead to send His Most Holy Mother in our present age to help us come back to Him.. to lend us Her tender hands and help us back up onto our feet.. to guide us back on a good and righteous path towards God.. to bring us into Her Most Immaculate Heart and thus, Her Son’s Most Sacred Heart, that we might be saved in the end!

Medjugorje is about the salvation of souls.. not the loss of souls! And many souls are indeed being saved through the graces we receive.. Many are coming here to Medjugorje with a rekindled faith and leaving this place now choosing to say ‘yes’ to Christ.. May those who oppose Medjugorje one day come to know and accept this in their hearts.. In the past, being a firm believer of Medjugorje I have sometimes struggled with insecurity and even fear that what is occurring in this humble place might be severely damaged to a point that it could no longer produce any good fruit.. Perhaps that the Church might rule against it’s authenticity and ban Medjugorje completely.. Having now visited Medjugorje I no longer harbor such fear or worry! No, not one ounce! For I truly believe that what is of God in such a powerful way simply can not and will not be destroyed.. God simply does not do things in vain! I have seen with my own eyes that it is God Who is in control here! And Our Lady has a unique plan that is without a doubt an intricate part of God’s plan.. Her plan does not oppose God’s plan for salvation by any means.. for together Her plan is God’s plan!



Pilgrims praying in silence before Our Lord on Apparition Hill


If we desire to heed Our Lady’s call to conversion our focus ought not be so much on the secrets or the ‘what’s going to happen soon?’ but instead we ought to really focus with all our heart on the monthly messages and how they apply to each of our lives.. This understanding became very clear to me while I was in Medjugorje.. Very clear! Meaning, we should rather continually reflect with open hearts on ‘what Our Lady teaches me today about who God calls me to be?’ See, Our Lady teaches us the Word of God.. She does not come with a new message but with a specific call to heed God’s Word given to us in Sacred Scripture.. “Read Scripture daily! Have your Bible in an open and visible place in your homes.” So often She reminds us..

In fact, since making this beautiful pilgrimage to Medjugorje I am convinced that not only should we place our hearts focus always on our Lady’s continual messages and daily Scripture reading leaving the ‘unfolding of the future secrets aside’ but that this is so detrimental to our personal conversion journey that focusing too much on the secrets can actually become extremely dangerous and harmful for our own spiritual growth because it really takes away from the awesome plan God has for each one of us in our lives.. I must admit, any time in the past I’ve ever found myself trying to analyze and figure out God’s plan, in the same moments I felt as if God was tapping me on the shoulder and saying, “Hey! Yoo hoo! Why ya looking over there? I’m over here!”

In other words, perhaps better we leave God to handle His affairs and just focus on what God places in our hands each day.. The secrets will occur in God’s time.. Our only concern should be that we spend each moment in prayer and obedience to God’s will.. In this way when the secrets do begin our hearts will be ready.. We really need not concern ourselves with God’s affairs beyond the duty God gives us .. And so far to my knowledge He has not placed it upon us to figure it all out.. Instead, that we allow ourselves to be continually transformed through His graces by making a conscious and moral decision as we awake each day to surrender to His will and who He calls us to be in any given moment.. And that in itself is plenty enough for me to handle..

And so Our Lady slowly spoon feeds us with short messages once a month and for a very good reason! No, they are not lengthy at all.. They are not overly burdening with too much to consume all at once.. Try to take too much in all at once and we’re liable to start choking! Our Lady’s school is one of gentleness and humility.. “Give us this day Thy daily Bread..” So we begin anew each day! The fact that my thoughts rarely if ever wandered away from the present moment the entire time I was there was a miracle and a tremendous grace in itself.. I didn’t worry about what was on tomorrows agenda at any time.. I was always too busy enjoying the fruits of today’s experience.. This is one awesome virtue I am thankful to have experienced while in Medjugorje.. The ability to stay in the present moment.. Thank You Jesus for this wonderful gift! The personal message and understanding I received from this to apply to my own life was to live each day open to what God bestows upon me just for today.. And to simply focus on that which God gives me just for today.. In doing so, tomorrow will be that much easier!



Along the path to Apparition Hill

Later that evening a few of us from our pilgrim group would accompany Fr. Mike (one of two priest’s from our group) to visit another Pansion a ways down the road where he would give a talk to another pilgrim group. Fr. Mike has an interesting conversion story of his own to share which we were blessed to listen to.. However, I’ll leave it at that because it’s really his story to tell.. That is the marvellous thing about Medjugorje though.. It seems that just about everyone you encounter has a unique personal conversion story to share.. And each story you hear becomes a stepping stone for your own conversion story as your heart is deeply touched and begins to be transformed.. There are a lot of hearts coming to fruition around here!

Chapter Nine: "Dear Children, I Your Mother, Love You.."

By John Christenson













See Full Testimony Here


"Dear children! I, your Mother, love you and wish to urge you to prayer. I am tireless, dear children, and I am calling you even then, when you are far away from my heart. I am a Mother, and even though I feel pain for each one who goes astray, I forgive easily and am happy for every child who returns to me. Thank you for having responded to my call."
Our Lady of Medjugorje, November 14, 1985


Today is Saturday, our second full day in Medjugorje. Today we ascend Apparition Hill shortly after the morning English Mass. And Saturday is yet another gorgeous day! The sun is shining bright and the temperature is just perfect! I believe it was about the mid to high seventies everyday that we were here in Medjugorje. The nights were cool though.. not freezing but rather cool. The Croatian Mass would begin at 6:00pm just after the Rosary and Our Lady’s apparition at 5:40pm and just as the sun was beginning to set. So when Mass would begin the sun would still be shining and it would still be relatively warm, but by the time Mass was over it would be dark and the air would cool off very quickly. In the morning if you were up before sunrise it was still cool yet the air became warm very quickly after the sun began to rise and your days temperatures were will set by noon.

Each morning shortly before 10:00am we would make our way over to St. James Parish. Moments before 10:00am English speaking pilgrims would gather and begin to line up outside the five entrances to the Church. There are two side entrances on either side of the Church as well as the main entrance. I would make my way to the rear side door on the left hand side as you faced the Altar and wait until the other pilgrims were finished leaving Mass that had just been celebrated in their language. There were a small group of us who preferred to sit & kneel on the floor at the foot of the Altar. I loved being up close for Mass!

Each day, a different visiting priest would celebrate Mass. And if that particular pilgrim group which the celebrant belonged to had a choir, that choir or those pilgrims belonging to that group who enjoyed singing would join the choir off to the left of the Altar. However, everyone who desired to sing in the choir was more than welcomed to sit in and participate. A few of the English Masses we attended while here were celebrated by Irish priest’s and so we were able to hear some really beautiful Irish hymns. I particularly loved the hymn about ‘Our Lady of Knock!’ I had read the lyrics before but had never heard it sung until coming to Medjugorje. This song is beautiful! I have grown very fond of this little hymn and it really moved me to tears!



Lady of Knock
by Dana (Rosemary Scallon)

There were people of all ages, gathered ‘round the gable wall
poor and humble men and women, little children that you called
We are gathered here before you, and our hearts are just the same
filled with joy at such a vision, as we praise your name

Refrain:
Golden Rose, Queen of Ireland, all my cares and troubles cease
as we kneel with love before you, Lady of Knock, my Queen of Peace
Though your message was unspoken, still the truth in silence lies
as we gaze upon your vision, and the truth I try to find
here I stand with John the teacher, and with Joseph at your side
and I see the Lamb of God, on the Altar glorified

Refrain

And the Lamb will conquer and the woman clothed in the sun
will shine Her light on everyone
and the lamb will conquer and the woman clothed in the sun,
will shine Her light on everyone

Refrain



"Dear children! My call is that in everything you would be an image for others, especially in prayer and witnessing. Dear children, without you I am not able to help the world. I desire that you cooperate with me in everything, even in the smallest things. Therefore, dear children, help me by letting your prayer be from the heart and all of you surrendering completely to me. That way I shall be able to teach and lead you on this way which I have begun with you. Thank you for having
responded to my call."
Our Lady of Medjugorje, August 28, 1986


We began our journey to Apparition Hill around 11:30am. The walk from Nada’s to Podbrdo was not very long at all.. Perhaps maybe a half mile. As we walked along this path (see photo above) passing merchants from time to time who had set up little tables to sell Rosaries and other religious articles there were close to 50 of us in our group scattered along the way in a relatively short distance.. And as we prayed a Rosary together as a group my thoughts wondered to images of Joseph and Mary with all their relatives walking along what might have been a similar path in those days.. I thought of ‘The Finding of the Child Jesus in the Temple’ when it was suddenly discovered that young Jesus was missing. I pictured Mary frantically running from person to person pleading and begging, “Have you seen my Son?! Please! Please! Have you seen my Son?!” How troubling this must have been for her! Any mother whose young child has ever disappeared for even an hour can certainly relate! And the tears of joy streaming down the cheeks of her face when she finally discovered our young Lord who was simply responding to His Father’s call.


As we began to walk through neighboring Podbrdo we soon came to a stop at the top of a small hill and gathered around Draga our guide. Fr. Mike pointed out Draga’s childhood home to us. She grew up with the visionaries. She played with them. Draga's calling, as she would share with us was to assist pilgrims in their journey who make their way to Medjugorje. Her call is an example to all of us.. For we are all called to assist one another in our journey’s. After Fr. Mike was finished, Draga humbly smiled and continued by pointing out to us the home directly behind her where Vicka would soon come out and speak to us in the following days.. Vicka does not live in Medjugorje, she lives in a village outside of Medj but meets the pilgrims in the old house where she and her mother used to live. so in a few days we would hopefully return here to listen to her speak to us. Meeting with Vicka had originally been planned for yesterday being Friday, however, she was ill and needed to rest. So of course we kept Vicka in our prayers that she would soon recover.


At the foot of Apparition Hill, I along with a few other pilgrims took off our shoes and our socks. I looked at the rocks & boulders straight ahead of me and thought, “What am I thinking! I can’t even walk across the kitchen floor without stubbing my toes let alone the front lawn without saying ‘ouch!’ and I’m going to try and climb this mountain barefoot!” Yet at the same time I was so eager! And I really wanted to do this! Besides Sharon (Little Red) had assured me that I would actually find it soothing. And well, she was right! To be totally honest it was not very difficult at all! In fact just as Sharon had said, it was rather soothing on the feet and when I reached the top of Apparition Hill I looked down and both my feet were still there and fully intact..

And so as I began to climb I also began to pray.. holding a Rosary in one hand and often trying to offer a helping hand to the person behind me with the other. Everyone looked out for one another.. We were not climbing the mountain alone but together as one. And we carried our loved ones and our friends with us in our hearts. It was awesome! Again, remembering name by name those I had offered to pray for. And as each person would come to mind I would ask Our Lord to bless that person in a very special way, and to heal that person where healing is needed, and to answer that person’s prayer request’s. It’s amazing how many people start coming to heart & mind in moments like this..


At the top of the Hill everyone gathered around Draga as she stood close to the Statue of Our Lady. There she continued to relay the story of how Our Lady first appeared to the young visionaries. And she told of a story in the early days when Jacob and a friend were going to climb the mountain even though the authorities had forbidden the children to go there.. and as they began their journey up the hill suddenly Our Lady appeared to them warning them that the authorities were waiting for them and would arrest them at the top if they continued.. Of course the boys heeded Our Lady’s warning.. A blue cross now marks the spot where this apparition took place.

After Draga was finished we remained at the top of the hill for some time before making our decent. It was very peaceful there. Everywhere in Medjugorje is peaceful.. but particularly these special sacred places such as Apparition Hill, Cross mountain, Fr. Slavko's grave and St. James Parish are extremely peaceful places to sit and pray. It becomes so easy to just sit and lie down completely in Our Lady’s arms with our head resting on her Heart when you find yourself alone for even a few brief moments in these special places. It is said that Our Lady appears at the foot of the Cross around 6:00am to pray before Her Son on Mt. Križevac every morning as the sun begins to rise.


Sometime around 4:30pm I made my way to Zana’s internet services which is located along a walkway leading onto the Parish premises. I took a few minutes to touch base with you guys before the Rosary and Croatian Mass would begin.. The Rosary at 5:00pm & the Mass at 6:00pm. (my apologies for being repetitive as I've already posted about this) After visiting the forum I left and went to join in with everyone in the Rosary. As everyone gathers around the Church there is a P.A. system and someone is praying the Rosary in Croatian.. you follow along in your own language.. Somehow, even though I do not understand a word of Croatian, I am still able to know where they are at in the prayers and found it easy to follow along in English..

Many had gathered outside the Church at the benches. I was standing near the confessionals following along in the Rosary and I felt as if I was supposed to go to Confession right now at this very minute even though I had just went a few days ago and did not feel the need to go.. There were no sins weighing heavy on my heart in that moment yet there was no escaping this strong nudge to go to confession. So I went and stood in an English confessional line.

While in line I asked Our Blessed Mother to place on my heart whatever I may need to Confess.. I entered the Confessional not really knowing what I would say.. and when I came out a few moments later I was completely overwhelmed in tears having poured out my heart.. The Irish priest I just made my confession with gave me 7 Hail Mary’s for penance.. and so I went to the benches along the outside wall of the Church to find a place to kneel and do my penance.. As I knelt down to pray the 7 Hail Mary’s, I couldn’t help but notice that so did everyone else kneel right along with me.. about a hundred or so people! I thought, “Huh? Why is everyone kneeling along with me while I do my penance?” still sobbing with tears of relief, gratitude & joy I continued to pray my penance and afterwards as I arose to sit back in the bench, so did everyone else along with me.. Puzzled, I thought, “what’s going on here!!” Then it suddenly occurred to me.. I had just done me penance exactly during the moments Our Lady was appearing to one of the Visionaries!!

So, already overwhelmed with tears of joy, this made me smile ear to ear and I started saying “Thank you Blessed Mother!” over and over again.. And suddenly I felt this inner nudge to look at the sun.. And the next thing I know I'm staring straight into the sun without any strain.. And everything around me suddenly faded away and all I could see for a few moments was the sun.. And the sun was spinning and then began to pulsate in its place.. growing larger and smaller, larger and smaller.. And the actual sun was now pure white as snow, like the Eucharist! And a very thin ring of fire was spinning around its outer perimeter.. Sometimes this ring was a ring of fire and then it would change and turn silver.. It was totally awesome!!!!

I was in total awe! Even though I’ve known about this for many years and have seen it in pictures and on home videos I was still completely awed by what I was actually seeing before my own eyes!.. and so excited like a little kid I'm grabbing people as they walked by me asking if they could see it too? And I think some of these poor people thought I was strange.. I don’t think any of them spoke English and they didn’t really understand me.. I was like a little kid full of excitement!! and I wanted to share it with everyone!! I looked around me and no one else seemed to see it.. About 5 more minutes into this and I saw a small pilgrim group also staring at the sun and went over and asked if they could see it also, and they could.. So finally I knew it wasn't just me.. and then a moment later I found Celina from our group.. And asked her to come see quickly.. Which she did.. and she saw it too.. This went on for about 15 minutes.. and then it was time for Mass.. I would see this phenomenon a total of five times while in Medjugorje..

After all these years I felt truly blessed that I was able to witness this phenomenon! Perhaps I didn’t need to see it because I have believed all along beforehand, yet still, it was a great comforting consolation to witness God’s power in such a unique and marvelous way! The night before I left for Medjugorje the last thing my son Nathaniel asked me was, “Papa, are you going to see the sun spin?” So it was a tremendous blessing to be able to tell my children about this when I returned home.

Chapter Ten: I'm At Peace Here

By John Christenson













See Full Testimony Here


"Dear children! I wish to tell you to thank God for all the graces which God has given you. For all the fruits thank the Lord and glorify Him! Dear children, learn to give thanks in little things and then you will be able to give thanks also for the big things. Thank you for having responded to my call."
Our Lady of Medjugorje, October 3, 1985


Friday, October 10th, was our first full day in Medjugorje. Our Lady begins to teach me as I begin to learn what it means to begin anew! Of course being a Friday this was a fast day and being full of excitement I was very eager to please Our Lady and to heed Her call to conversion through prayer and fasting! So early in the morning I decided to completely fast from everything! No food except bread & water.. no coffee.. and no smoking.. Yep! Nothing but God and godly things for me! Well, to be honest sometimes God has this unique way of humbling us when we try to take on the world and so….. I didn't make it very far.. And I learned a very valuable lesson that first day in Medjugorje about "the spirit being willing but the flesh being weak." It humbled me!

By 1:00pm I couldn't take the withdrawal from going without a cigarette and coffee which I won't argue are most likely my greatest addictions.. Especially the smoking! Barb, Evelyn and Sarah had invited me to accompany them to Victor's Restaurant around noon.. They chose Victor's because he caters to those fasting on bread and water and makes a wonderful bread to fast on.. When I expressed that I couldn't take it anymore (the cravings!) and was going to step outside for a cigarette Sarah suggested that I eat a meal instead and only fast from the cigarettes, or from the smokes and coffee alone.. My skin was literally crawling! It was too late! I had made up my mind! I excused myself from the table and walked outside and lit a cigarette.. soon enough, I felt so guilty for being so weak and unable to succeed in this fast.. I was devastated! And I started saying sorry over and over to Jesus and Our Lady for failing.. And it was then that I looked up and saw this beautiful cloud formation just above St. James Parish that resembled Our Lady..


Therefore, that I might not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but He said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:7,8

Perhaps Our Lady was trying to tell me not to be too hard on myself or that I should not try to conquer the world when I fast because by this time I was really feeling not only discouraged but really defeated! So this consolation came at a perfect time.. While I'm sure Our Lady was probably smiling at my effort this was also a reminder to me that I can not do anything on my own without Christ. How much had I prepared for this? How much had I asked in prayer for the graces beforehand? I must make an effort to meet Jesus in the graces He desires to bestow upon me but I must also remember that it is only through Him that I can accomplish anything that bears good fruit.

"I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in Me and I in them will bear much fruit, because without Me you can do nothing."
John 15:5

I stumbled in my pockets to take a picture (posted above) but unfortunately by the time I snapped the picture the cloud was loosing it's form.. When I first saw this cloud you could see Our Lady's head with a full mantle wrapped around Her.. Now I went from feeling defeated to feeling excited as if a little kid coming in the door from school eager to show mommy the picture I just drew at school! And so I quickly went back inside Victor's to show the ladies the picture I had just taken.. The rest of the day I would fast on just a single bowl of soup and bread & water.. I know the cigarettes and the coffee will come in time eventually if I keep trying and remain open to the graces God desires to bestow.. How much do I desire to be transformed? Yet I am consoled! Keep praying for the grace John-boy! It's already there! Just keep trying and don't give up!

There is something uniquely different about Medjugorje then my environment back at home. What is it? The first day or so I struggled a bit to grasp exactly what this difference is.. I don't just mean around the Parish itself or around the special places of Our Lady's Heart such as Apparition Hill or Cross Mountain, but even within the entire village itself and all the people you encounter there at any given moment. Then again, it goes without saying that all of humanity has a special place in Our Lady's Heart! Yet it really didn't take too long to notice the differences.. And these differences combined with the abundance of graces one continually receives has a lot to do with not ever wanting to leave Medjugorje..

If you have never been to Medjugorje image this for a moment.. Image walking out your front door and everywhere you turn there is a strong sense of peace you not only see but feel immensely and deep within your heart that is truly visible on each and every face and in every heart you encounter.. Again, with each passing moment your own heart truly begins to transform! Imagine entering a coffee shop, a restaurant or even a pub and as you take a seat you notice a beautiful portrait of Our Blessed Mother hanging on the wall.. And not just one shop, restaurant or pub but pretty much all of them! Or a Crucifix just above the counter as you go to pay your bill.. And soft music that sings praises to Our God playing in the background just about everywhere in town that you could possibly go.. Imagine a place where you can not walk half a block without passing a priest.. Imagine all your cab drivers where you live having Rosaries hanging from their rear-view-mirrors.. And knowing in your heart that those Rosaries are not merely decorations but are most likely put to great use on a daily basis..

Imagine going to Mass twice daily and everyone sings! And everyone wants to sit upfront! And there are anywhere from a dozen to twenty priest's surrounding the Altar at each Mass.. And outside your Parish are lines and lines of people eager to make a good confession! And also outside are swarms of people gathered together reciting the Rosary no matter what language you speak.. We are all together in prayer! All of us! In unity! And that Jesus present in the Eucharist is at the center of it all! With His Blessed Mother Who He has given to us to be Our Mother covering each of us with Her Mantle of LOVE! Image that this is your town! That this is where you live! Pretty amazing huh! This is Medjugorje! No wonder we never want to leave!

Yes, I won't lie.. The devil is always in the midst trying to ruin what Our Lady is doing.. She has warned us of this from the beginning.. "My dear children! Satan is so strong and with all his might wants to disturb my plans which I have begun with you. You pray, just pray and don't stop for a minute! I will pray to my Son for the realization of all the plans I have begun. Be patient and constant in your prayers. And don't let Satan discourage you. He is working hard in the world. Be on your guard!" January 14, 1985 (Message given to Vicka) And indeed, there were a few brief moments that I saw him at work.. But each time I also saw all of his attempts quickly snuffed out by the power of God.. I'm left to believe that ole hairy legs really has no power there at all.. He just keeps trying to sneak in the back door when no one is looking.. Then he gets busted and thrown back out until the next time he tries.. That's my take on it anyways..

I never witnessed even a single argument among any two people the entire time I was in Medjugorje.. Just a whole lot of peace! Open hearts! And more open hearts! Unity! Care! Compassion! Mercy & Forgiveness! Stubborn hearts instantly changed and transformed into loving and compassionate hearts eager to help one another! All this LOVE pouring out into the streets of this tiny little village.. Our Lady's goal? At least in part I'm sure is to see this love pour out onto every street in the entire world! So I couldn't help feel that this is the way it's supposed to be! Everywhere! Twenty seven years of pilgrims from every inch of the world making a physical & spiritual journey deep into Our Lady's Heart.. She wants us to come to Medjugorje and receive this experience, these wonderful graces, this beautiful transformation of heart so that we may bring this love, God's love, with us when we leave and enter back into our homes, our workplaces, our cities and our countries..


Many of the pictures I took were of the sky at one moment or another.. a sunset.. a unique cloud formation.. Not merely because of anything miraculous that I felt the need to snap a picture but simply because I just marveled a lot at God's precious artwork.. The sky over Medjugorje was just gorgeous the entire time we were there.. As you can see by the pictures we were truly blessed to have great weather our entire stay! Very Happy


We've heard this said so many times before.. That Medjugorje is a school! A school of prayer.. We begin to learn how to pray from the heart.. we begin to really learn how to put God first in our lives.. we learn how to begin to surrender wholeheartedly to God.. we begin to learn how to recognize and separate our will from God's will so that we can better discern and focus more on living according to God's will..

Our Lady is teaching us, her precious children how to LOVE.. Humanity (I'm speaking in a general sense here) is loosing the ability to love.. Our world is becoming more and more a place that invites us to serve self.. Perhaps it's been veering this way for a long time now.. And it goes without saying that undoubtedly this displeases God tremendously! Yet instead of choosing utter wrath as a means to deal with humanity as we continued to slip away from Him and His Law especially over the past recent age, out of His infinite mercy God chooses instead to send His Most Holy Mother in our present age to help us come back to Him.. to lend us Her tender hands and help us back up onto our feet.. to guide us back on a good and righteous path towards God.. to bring us into Her Most Immaculate Heart and thus, Her Son's Most Sacred Heart, that we might be saved in the end!

Medjugorje is about the salvation of souls.. not the loss of souls! And many souls are indeed being saved through the graces we receive.. Many are coming here to Medjugorje with a rekindled faith and leaving this place now choosing to say 'yes' to Christ.. May those who oppose Medjugorje one day come to know and accept this in their hearts.. In the past, being a firm believer of Medjugorje I have sometimes struggled with insecurity and even fear that what is occurring in this humble place might be severely damaged to a point that it could no longer produce any good fruit.. Perhaps that the Church might rule against it's authenticity and ban Medjugorje completely.. Having now visited Medjugorje I no longer harbor such fear or worry! No, not one ounce! For I truly believe that what is of God in such a powerful way simply can not and will not be destroyed.. God simply does not do things in vain! I have seen with my own eyes that it is God Who is in control here! And Our Lady has a unique plan that is without a doubt an intricate part of God's plan.. Her plan does not oppose God's plan for salvation by any means.. for together Her plan is God's plan!

If we desire to heed Our Lady's call to conversion our focus ought not be so much on the secrets or the 'what's going to happen soon?' but instead we ought to really focus with all our heart on the monthly messages and how they apply to each of our lives.. This understanding became very clear to me while I was in Medjugorje.. Very clear! Meaning, we should rather continually reflect with open hearts on 'what Our Lady teaches me today about who God calls me to be?' See, Our Lady teaches us the Word of God.. She does not come with a new message but with a specific call to heed God's Word given to us in Sacred Scripture.. "Read Scripture daily! Have your Bible in an open and visible place in your homes." So often She reminds us..

In fact, since making this beautiful pilgrimage to Medjugorje I am convinced that not only should we place our hearts focus always on our Lady's continual messages and daily Scripture reading leaving the 'unfolding of the future secrets aside' but that this is so detrimental to our personal conversion journey that focusing too much on the secrets can actually become extremely dangerous and harmful for our own spiritual growth because it really takes away from the awesome plan God has for each one of us in our lives.. I must admit, any time in the past I've ever found myself trying to analyze and figure out God's plan, in the same moments I felt as if God was tapping me on the shoulder and saying, "Hey! Yoo hoo! Why ya looking over there? I'm over here!"

In other words, perhaps better we leave God to handle His affairs and just focus on what God places in our hands each day.. The secrets will occur in God's time.. Our only concern should be that we spend each moment in prayer and obedience to God's will.. In this way when the secrets do begin our hearts will be ready.. We really need not concern ourselves with God's affairs beyond the duty God gives us .. And so far to my knowledge He has not placed it upon us to figure it all out.. Instead, that we allow ourselves to be continually transformed through His graces by making a conscious and moral decision as we awake each day to surrender to His will and who He calls us to be in any given moment.. And that in itself is plenty enough for me to handle..

And so Our Lady slowly spoon feeds us with short messages once a month and for a very good reason! No, they are not lengthy at all.. They are not overly burdening with too much to consume all at once.. Try to take too much in all at once and we're liable to start choking! Our Lady's school is one of gentleness and humility.. "Give us this day Thy daily Bread.." So we begin anew each day! The fact that my thoughts rarely if ever wandered away from the present moment the entire time I was there was a miracle and a tremendous grace in itself.. I didn't worry about what was on tomorrows agenda at any time.. I was always too busy enjoying the fruits of today's experience.. This is one awesome virtue I am thankful to have experienced while in Medjugorje.. The ability to stay in the present moment.. Thank You Jesus for this wonderful gift! The personal message and understanding I received from this to apply to my own life was to live each day open to what God bestows upon me just for today.. And to simply focus on that which God gives me just for today.. In doing so, tomorrow will be that much easier!

Later that evening a few of us from our pilgrim group would accompany Fr. Mike (one of two priest's from our group) to visit another Pansion a ways down the road where he would give a talk to another pilgrim group. Fr. Mike has an interesting conversion story of his own to share which we were blessed to listen to.. However, I'll leave it at that because it's really his story to tell.. That is the marvelous thing about Medjugorje though.. It seems that just about everyone you encounter has a unique personal conversion story to share.. And each story you hear becomes a stepping stone for your own conversion story as your heart is deeply touched and begins to be transformed.. There are a lot of hearts coming to fruition around here!